OKAY, NOW YOU HAVE GOT ME STARTED ON PENS AND SHIT

This is bad.

Josey Rebelle is proud to present…

If you glance at this quickly, you may think it reads ‘Me and my Penis’ but I can assure you I do not possess any such anatomical delights, neither do I have much chance to revel in those of another.

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I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY

It’s about my favourite pen in the whole wide world.

Here it is:

It’s the sexiest thing you could ever hold between your fingers and it doesn’t give you any diseases except for a penmanship addiction. It cost more than a pen should ever cost and I’m scared to use it. I’m also scared not to use it because if I don’t it’ll go all dried up and crusty like a cocksucker’s top lip.

That wasn’t really a story because it didn’t have a BEGINNING, a MIDDLE and an END like Miss Rodriguez said at primary school. But she also said I couldn’t go toilet and that’s when I pissed all over her classroom floor.

The End

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Okay, now you know like EVERYTHING about me.

Please don’t try and steal my identity or any shit like that.

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JOSEY…LOVES BOOKS

Books that already have words in them…

And books that are yet to be written in.

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JOSEY…DOES NOT LOVE THE NEW HERBAL ESSENCES

I cannot talk about this right now, I am VERY VERY UPSET.

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JOSEY…LOVES JUNGLE

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JOSEY…DOES NOT LOVE BEING SKINT

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JOSEY…LOVES BED

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